Music.

There is something about music that allows me to escape what is going on. Music allows me to relate to certain things that are going on in my life and help me over come, go through, and embrace these things. Whether they are good, bad, happy, or sad experiences… Music has a way of speaking.

It is funny, but yet so true that music can be as simple as just some words, but until it is an experience that you are going through they come alive to truly mean something and tell a wonderful story. 

"When you’re happy, you enjoy the music but when you’re sad, you understand the lyrics." - Frank Ocean. 

This quote from Frank Ocean is SO true. For me I can enjoy a song and like the tune, but when I am sad or frustrated and I listen to a song, the lyrics mean so much and speak so loud to me. 

Music is an outlet that helps me when things aren’t going so good, or when things are going great! I honestly don’t know what I would do or where I would be if music wasn’t a part of my life.

I love listing to music and finding new songs that I can jam out to when I am happy or sad. It is a part of me and I love it. 

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What Do You See?

Imperfections. Looking into the mirror I may not see what others see when they look at me. When I look at myself I see things that bother me. Things that I want to change. Things that I wish I could just fix in a snap. Things that I need to be willing to sacrifice in order to get to where I need to be.

If I want to see a difference, I have to be willing to let go of some things. For me sweets and bread. I love that dark chocolate or cookie..as well as that buttery piece of bread. yum yum. But these foods are not helping me reach the goal that I want to get to.

Yes I am a workout freak. I love working out and I am not afraid to admit that. While this being said, only a small amount of working out will make a difference while what you eat plays a bigger role. If I were to just work out a ton and then eat crappy food, I am going to see no changes. The crap that I put into my body will make no difference and I will see no results from the workouts that I have done. 

Positivity. Support. Drive. These three things are what will help me stay committed to by goal.

  • Positivity: By staying positive it will allow me to push myself to continue to achieve where I want to be.
  • Support: From friends and family will allow be to not give up and continue to want to reach my goal.
  • Drive: By having both positivity and support I will have the drive and determination to NOT give up on reaching my goal.

These three things all relate to each other and will allow me to successfully achieve the goal that I want.

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Patience.

Patience. This word is a very powerful word that isn’t easy to follow through with its meaning. Patience means : the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. Key: without getting angry or upset

For some people patience is very easy and not a problem, but for others it is the hardest thing. This past week patience is something I had struggled with enormously. Waiting. Sitting. Thinking. —> being patient was not easy by any means. 

While I sat with my mind going a mile a minute I had to realize how not talking with someone will benefit me in the end. By having patience and not talking with someone in the end hopefully makes your relationship with that person stronger. Whether it be your mom, dad, brother, grandma, grandpa, boyfriend, or girlfriend. Whomever it may be, in the end by taking time away will hopeful strengthen your relationship with that person. 

Taking time away can be the furthest thing from easy and what you may want to do.. as it is for me. It is hard and my mind wonders like crazy. Thoughts on thoughts are occurring in my head and I go crazy. I think down on myself, but in the end this is what I need. I need the silence to re-evaluate what I am doing with my life and where I am going with it. This is where once again patience comes into play. I’m not saying that not talking to someone for being angry at someone is easy because it isn’t.. But if you have the patience to understand that in the end this will better you you might have a better understanding as why this is happening. The whole not talking allows the good times to be replayed as well as the bad.. and allow you to think about if this is something you want to continue. 

Does this make you happy? Does this person bring out the best in you? Are your morals the same or does this person turn you away from what you believe in? 

Think about it. 


Thankful.

Do you ever take a minute to stop what you’re doing and realize how thankful you truly are? For me, sometimes it’s so easy to get caught up in life and begin to take things for granted.. More recently I have began to truly think about all that I have to be thankful for. 

These past few weeks it has been freezing. Yes I complain and say that I am cold…but what I don’t think about right away are all the homeless people outside who don’t have shelter to keep them warm. Yet here I am complaining that I am laying in bed cold. And there are many people who don’t have the opportunity to sleep in a bed. It’s the little things like taking having a roof over your head for granted. I don’t always remember that there are others suffering. I pray that they get the shelter that they need and the proper nourishments so that one day they can become successful and live out Gods plan. 

While I suffer some days whether it be with personal stuff, friends, family, etc. I ought to remember that there are those out there in the world that are suffering worse than I am. *food for thought*  

Last night was a tough night for me and tonight looking back I am so thankful for my brother. My brother who has helped me through the tough times and told me to never give up, keep fighting, you’re strong nanny, I look up to you. etc. Whatever it may be, my brother is there for me and always letting me know what I am more than what I think I am. That I deserve more than I think I deserve. That I am a strong person who has gone through a lot and that I have never given up. I am thankful for my brother who reminds me about the past that I have been through and that it has made me who I am today.

At the end of the day I need to think to myself how thankful I really am to have such wonderful people in my life. The friends that help me through anything and everything and are always there. My family who does the same and more. Random people that smile at me and brighten my day. To me, it is the little things in life that are more valuable and special. 


When is Enough Enough?

How does one simply know when enough is enough? Lately I have been losing myself in trying to figure out when enough truly is enough.. Where do I say to myself that I need to cut these strings and focus on myself?

I am the type of person who has a big heart and puts others first and would never try to do something intentionally to hurt or harm anyone.. It is just not who I am or who I try to be as a person. I would much rather let myself get hurt while making someone else feel better about themselves etc. I apologize too soon for anything and everything trying to make things better and mend it to the way that it should be, and in the end that causes me to get hurt even more. When will I learn? This question is one that is constantly running through my head.. These past few months have been one hell of a ride with many ups and downs and not knowing what is right and what I should do and how do I put myself first. This is the beginning of a new year and I am looking forward to seeing how I can get healthier for my good good. Both mentally and physically. But in doing this, I have to start putting myself first and not others. For once. This is not easy by any means. This is probably the most difficult thing to do for myself… But if it works out in the end I sure do hope it is worth it.

I believe that God has been dropping clues and hints with what I need to do, but because it is not what I want or think is right, I turn away and that is causing me to become more hurt and lose myself with who I truly and and what I am meant for. Life is my any means not easy, but it is by keeping the faith that will get me to where I need to be. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13 is what keeps me grounded. This tattoo that I got this past November is one little way that I know everyday that I am not doing this crazy thing called life by myself and with every step that I take I have God right beside me guiding me to where I need to be.

XOXO 




Just one of those days… Where nothing seems to be enough. 

Just one of those days… Where nothing seems to be enough. 

(via disorderswillnotstopme)


c-ryingtosleep:

Florencia Bianchi | via Facebook op We Heart It http://weheartit.com/entry/72074500/via/depressionisback

c-ryingtosleep:

Florencia Bianchi | via Facebook op We Heart It http://weheartit.com/entry/72074500/via/depressionisback